BULLY PARENTS

Today while as I was waiting in the queue to collect my son’s report there was this mom who was annoying the cheese out of me!

She had just found out that the line she was in was for the students who failed the year and instead of being supportive (because it really is not the end of the world) she was in no uncertain terms verbally bullying her own son. Saying things to him in a demeaning, angry manner like “why are you laughing, we will see who has the last laugh”; “no more socialising for you”; “you can forget about having a good holiday” and when he tried to walk away, she raised her voice and said “don’t you walk away from me when I’m talking to you, come here!” this boy (probably 16 or 17) turned around and went to sit back down next to her.

He had tears in his eyes and all I could think of was, I would never ever speak to my son like that infront of his peers or strangers. He was clearly embarrassed and most likely already feeling down for failing his grade. And then this woman started again…

Now I would usually mind my own business, but this time I did not! I nicely said to her, “could you please not humiliate your son infront of his peers, it’s really not nice, you are embarrassing him”. After she gave me a look that could of probably killed me, she kept her mouth shut and sat quietly waiting her turn.

What is a bully?

A bully is someone who is regularly overbearing.

He or she looks to cause humiliation or discomfort to another, particularly if that other is weaker or smaller. This can be physical bullying, emotional bullying or mental discomfort and humiliation. It is important to understand that bullying goes beyond physical intimidation. Many people don’t realize that emotional and mental bullying can have just as many long lasting effects as physical bullying – even though the effects are of different kinds. The effects from abuse by parents that bully are no less severe.

So what is a bully parent?

When you think of bullies, you often think of children terrorizing other children. Bullying parents are often overbearing and controlling. It may seem strange to think that parents can be bullies, but they can be. Parents who are overbearing, constantly belittling their children or seeking to be controlling, and enforcing rules with a heavy hand, may actually be crossing the line into bullying parent behavior. Indeed, there is a difference between correcting a child’s inappropriate behavior and constantly trying to control every aspect of that child’s life.

xxxZ