Middle Child what?
Is Middle Child Syndrome real?
While middle child syndrome may be a widespread observation, one thing is clear: it's not an actual clinical disorder.
However, the Middle Child Syndrome observation is very real and this may be noticeable with parents who have three children and have experienced this observation first hand.
Have you heard the expression ‘Parenting is not for the faint-hearted’?
Being a parent is the most rewarding and difficult path anyone can take. Your first-born does not come with a manual and when the second child arrives, they could be of the opposite sex, or their personality is so different from their sibling, that your acquired skill-set does not apply to the newest member of the family, and once the third child is born, you feel like an expert in parenting from your many years of experience….
For 12 years of his life, my now-middle child was the youngest and generally considered as spoilt or referred to as my baby. But then there were 3…
What is middle child syndrome?
Middle child syndrome is the feeling of exclusion by the middle child, those with one older and one younger sibling.
I have heard that being the middle child is like living between a rock and a hard place. The firstborn has already had the benefit of years of attention and are the most dependable ones through the eyes of family members and parents. The younger child also known as the baby (or is the baby) of the family gets the most attention. The middle child usually has less discipline, and this may well be due to them acting up as a result of feeling left out. Middle children often feel that life is unfair and this fosters sibling rivalry and resentment.
Middle children may harbour the following atrributes:
misbehave to get attention
go with the flow
work as little as possible
be less parent-dependent than their siblings
become the 'loner' of the family, not participate in family events unless told to
play the peacemaker
be very creative and imaginative
There are ways to overcome the middle child syndrome and raise a happy, healthy child.
1. Make an extra effort in building a relationship with your middle child.
Perhaps that relationship is already super-close. But if not, or if you see your middle child struggling, consider that more connection with you might be just what he/she needs. Be sure that you acknowledge their feelings even when you disagree with them. For example, you may not agree that the youngest gets special treatment but your child needs to know that you hear his/her thoughts. Most of all, enjoy her. When children feel in their bones that we enjoy them, they feel valued and loved.
2. Make sure your middle child feels he/she "belongs"
All children share the basic need to feel significant in their families. Middle children are in a position where this need is less likely to be met. Every child deserves to be adored unconditionally just for being herself, without have to "do" anything to earn that.
Be sure to value the chores your child does and the responsibilities he/she takes on, as a unique and valuable contribution to the whole family. Have each child choose a what will be for dinner are a particular day, making them feel that their opinion is also valued by the entire family, this makes it more special when the meal is enjoyed by all.
3. Teach your child to stick up for himself
From my experience, this is quite difficult not to intervene, for example, walk away when the older sibling pushes him around. Often they will keep playing and compromise their own integrity and resolve their own conflict. When your kids get into an disagreement, encourage each one to voice their needs and wants to the other without attacking.
4. Encourage social interactions with your middle child, if needed.
Like my middle son, you might not have to encourage social interactions as most middle children and very sociable and make friends easily and strike up conversations without effort or much thought. Middle children will often want to play with friends instead of siblings. That’s perfectly fine, but include their friends with the family as well, so they’re at your house some of the time, rather than always at friends’ houses.
Good luck with all your middle children, soon my baby will be a middle child too ;)
xxx Z
#middlechild #middlechildsyndrome #3children #3sacrowd #siblings #siblingrivalry #parenting #momofboys